


I Shall Believe

by cyncyn1110



Series: And the Song Goes on [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Job, Bottom Dean, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester - Freeform, Dean/Sam - Freeform, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Top Sam, Truck Sex, Wincest - Freeform, s2 between e2-e3, sheryl crow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 19:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3822424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyncyn1110/pseuds/cyncyn1110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has pushed Sam away after their fathers death, but maybe too far. He tries to make it right and remind Sam just how much he means to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Shall Believe

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys are liking the series so far. Please comment! I like talking to you :)

Dean didn't know how to fix things. He had fucked up royally. He stood in the doorway of Bobby's library and watched his baby brothers chest rise and fall. 

It had started the night he beat the shit out of baby's newly fixed trunk. Sam had basically let him know how he felt about about being pushed away and Dean's refusal to deal with their dads death. That night, when Dean went upstairs to bed, Sam's bed was untouched. He showered and turned the lights out figuring maybe Sam was in the library reading. The next morning he was still alone in the room. He went down to find Sam in one of the armchairs sleeping with a book propped open. When Dean woke him up he just nodded his good morning and went upstairs to shower.

Ok coincidence. He was definitely still upset. But Dean gave him the benefit of the doubt, he could have really fallen asleep and just stayed put. Until the next night. When Dean came downstairs he saw two long legs sticking out over the side of Bobby's couch. 

"Dude, seriously? What are you doing?" Dean had asked after shaking Sam awake. 

"What are you talking about?" Sam said as he stood and walked stiffly up each stair, leaving Dean to watch him.  
By the second week of this, Dean had lost count of all the places he had found Sam sleeping but their room. The last straw for Bobby was when he found Sam sleeping in a rusting truck bed. He let Dean know exactly what he thought as he walked into the kitchen to make coffee.

"So what did you do?" Bobby grumbled. 

"Nothing! Why's it always gotta be my fault?" Dean knew better than to roll his eyes at Bobby so he just kept making the coffee. 

"Cause I'm not stupid." Bobby drawled. "You're acting like an ass and Sam hasn't slept in that room for over a week. Now I don't care what you two got going on, you know I'll love you two like family no matter what, so you go on and fix it, you idjit." He stalked out of the kitchen and didn't look back. 

Dean stood stock still not knowing what to make of Bobby's statement. He knew Bobby was right. He just didn't know if Sam would forgive him and if he was being honest he couldn't promise he would be a hundred percent better. 

As soon as Dean left the kitchen he heard Sam walk in. He counted to ten then stepped back through the doorway.

"Hey" he tried to play it cool as topped off his nearly full coffee mug.

"Morning" Sam said as he fixed his own sugar and milk infused excuse for a cup of joe. 

"So baby's looking pretty good, you should come out and see her. Give the library a break." Dean gave Sam his best smile only to have it returned by weak one that didn't reach Sam's eyes, which had dark circles beneath them. 

"Oh yeah, I was out there last night. Took a look. She looks great Dean. All that time you're putting into her is really showing." Sam gathered his mug and made to leave the room. 

"Yeah about that, you, um, planning to sleep in our room anytime soon?  
Dean suddenly found a speck on his shoe interesting. 

"Uh yeah, I just keep falling asleep reading, you know taking advantage of Bobby's collection. I'm gonna go shower, I'll see you later." He walked out before Dean could even respond. 

Shit. This was bad. Dean had been too affective at making space between he and Sam. Bobby walked into the kitchen and filled his now empty coffee mug then turned to walk out. "Gonna have to work harder son." He gave Dean a pat on the shoulder then returned to the library.

\-------------------------------------------

That night Dean offered to take Sam into town for dinner, but Sam declined. Until Bobby came downstairs and kicked them out claiming that sometimes a man needed time to himself. 

Dean showered and dressed up in his best jeans and Henley. He gelled his hair and put on only enough cologne so Sam could still smell his "Deaness" as Sam called it. When he was ready he waited by the stairs for Sam to come down. 

When Sam came down it was clear he wasn't expecting Dean to have put in as much effort as he did. He slowed down as he looked his older brother up and down.

Dean was doing the same. Sam was wearing his favorite jeans. The ones that hugged him in all the right places. The button up he was wearing was green and blue plaid which made his eyes shine. His hair was brushed but still stuck out in its unruliness. 

"Hey, uh you look good." Dean had to cough to shake the nervousness he felt. 

"Uh yeah you too. You ready to go?" Sam kept fidgeting with his shirt and Dean felt a little better about acting like a 14 year old going on his first unchaperoned date. 

"Okay Bobby, we'll be back! Should we bring you back anything?" He yelled, never taking his eyes off of Sam. 

They heard Bobby call out from the library "Naw, I can manage to make my own dinner. How d'you think I survived this long? You boys be safe. And I expect you to be gone for at least three hours." 

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise at Dean and walked towards the door. "See you, Bobby!" Dean followed and as he shut the door behind him he laughed.

"What?" Sam questioned

"Nothing, it's just we're acting like teenagers going on our first date." 

"Um well we've never been on a date. Not that this is one but, well we've never gone on a date, date."

"What? Yeah we...... Shit we haven't have we? Wait but why can't this be a date?" Dean stopped Sam by placing a hand on his arm. 

Sam responded by taking a step towards Bobby's truck. "Well, I mean we're kinda... off right now. And it's not like we do dates." Sam furrowed his brow at Dean like he was asking a stupid question. 

"We're not off! I just, I'm just going through stuff. I never said we were off." Dean moved to stand in front of Sam. "We're not just dating Sam. This thing with us it's more. I know I've been an ass about this but we're not off damn it! And damn it I'm good at dates! I do dates!

"Oh right, so I'm supposed to just take my cues from you? When you want me around you'll let me know? I can't work like that Dean. I can't just turn it off and on. You cut me out. These past few weeks have been hell for me too. And now what you're trying to tell me you're all better? Well I call bullshit. We're supposed to be in this together. If this is how it's gonna be then just tell me now and I won't let myself go in a hundred percent because I can't lose you every time we're going through something." Sam turned away with his eyes shinning but Dean grabbed him making Sam's eyes meet his. 

"I'm sorry baby boy. I always want you around. I always will. I'm not ok, not by a long shot but I promise I'll be better at not being a dick to you." Dean wrapped a hand around Sam's neck and brought his forehead down to meet his own. "Let me take you on a date tonight. Our first. And at the end of the night you decide if you want to spend the night in our room."

Sam studied his face for what seemed like forever then finally nodded as Dean pulled him in for a quick kiss and laughed when Sam immediately looked around after. "Yeah, I'm not sure we have to worry about Bobby." When Sam gave him a quizzical look he added "just have a feeling."

Dean took Sam's hand and led him the rest of the way to the truck. He opened Sam's door for him and turned to face Sam's bitch face. 

"Dean, I'm not a chick. You don't need to open the door for me."

"Right sorry." Dean left Sam to get in alone .   
\-------------------------------------------  
As they drove to the restaurant Dean reached for Sam's hand and held it the whole way there as they listened to the local classic rock station. 

When they got to the restaurant Dean pulled Sam in for a deep kiss. "I love you Sammy" he said when they finally parted. They each got out and walked into the restaurant shoulder to shoulder. 

As they sat down and looked over the menu, Sam couldn't help but laugh. "Dude you really pulled out all the stops. They have linen napkins."

"Nothing but the best for you." Dean winked which made Sam laugh more. 

When the waitress came by she tried catching Deans eye but Dean placed his order, smiled, then turned his attention to Sam.

"You look good Sam. You dress up for me?"

"No, well kinda. You dress up for me?" He couldn't help the slight redness in his face.

"Of course I did! Wanted to impress and attract!" Dean leered and Sam rolled his eyes. "So what's normal for first dates?"

"Dean, you've been on a million dates, you should be a pro." Sam said with a smile. 

"Yeah I never stayed in town long enough to date, those were more hook-ups and it wasn't a million...."

" Well it's usually getting to know each other, but I'm fairly certain we're covered there."

"Yeah, I changed your diapers, and taught you how to tie your shoes, we're good there"

"Yeah that's still a little weird. Alright how about, if we could take a vacation anywhere. Where would you go?" The waitress arrived with their drinks and again tried to get Deans attention to no avail. 

Dean sat and thought about it for a moment. "You go first."

"Let's see, I wanna go see the northern lights. They have these really cool igloos with sky lights that you sleep in so you get an awesome view. I'd just have to get you on a plane to Finland. Or we could drive to Alaska. Outfit baby with snow tires." Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean.

"Just give me a little more time before I get on a plane again." Dean shivered obviously remembering the plane they were trapped on. "That would be cool. Just me and you in an igloo. I'd keep you warm Sammy." He reached across and traced his fingertips along his younger brothers arm. Now it was Sam shivering. 

"Yeah?" Sam said, his voice was huskier than it had been moments before. "So where would you go?"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to distract me." Dean gave a low chuckle that he knew would have an affect. 

"No, not at all." Sam cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink. "So where would you go?"

"Hmmm, well I'd drive us to the keys. We could spend a week walking up and down Duval st. and the beach. It would be so hot that you'd want to walk around without a shirt. But you wouldn't have to worry about sunburn because I'd make sure every inch of you was covered in sunscreen. We'd have piña coladas for breakfast and key lime pie for lunch. And when you wanted to cool down a little I'd lead you out into the water. Then I'd take you back to our room and get you all hot again. We could spend our nights at a bar where no one would bat an eye at you and I dancing. I could be so close to you that you'd feel every inch of me. Know exactly what we'd be doing the minute we got behind a closed door." Dean had to lean back a little to make room in his pants but he never took his eyes from the now hazel ones across from him. He watched as the pupil in those eyes expanded and nearly swallowed up the color surrounding them. 

They were interrupted by the waitress asking if they needed anything. When she left Dean continued and Sam leaned in to hear that low gravel that drove him insane. "You know I'll never get tired of watching your eyes. The way they change from a smokey blue to the sea green to a honey hazel. You know when I'm kissing you or touching you or inside of you I love the way your eyes get darker. They show me just how turned on you are and its like an aphrodisiac. 

Sam took his bottom lip into his mouth and dragged air in through his teeth. "Now you're living dangerously baby boy because when you bite your lip that way I just want to reach across the table and drag you over here onto my lap and not let go until we're both fucked out. Then I'll clean us up with the linen napkins." 

Sam smiled and shook his head. "Jesus Dean, I'm gonna have to go take a cold shower in the sink. You have no idea what your voice and you talking that way does to me. Fuck, and I'm not doing anything at Bobby's so this is even more cruel." Dean gave a low chuckle that made Sam shiver. "Alright I'm going to the bathroom." Sam stood and was grateful that his shirt did an ok job of covering the bulge in his jeans. He walked with a slightly awkward gait and Dean was proud to have put it there as he watched Sam walk away from their table. 

He sat there for about a minute then flagged their waitress down.

"Hey Hun, what can I get for you?"

"I'm afraid we have to leave, do you know how long before our food is ready?"

She tilted her head to the side and began to frown and Dean had to laugh as it faded to a secretive smile. It really was like watching a lightbulb come on. It'll only be a few more minutes. I can pack it up for you if you'd like. I could have you two out of here before you know it."

"That would be great. Here's enough to cover the tab", he said handing her more than enough, "and keep the change. I'm gonna hit the restroom for a second. Thanks for the help."

"No problem sweetheart. I'm glad I could help." She smiled and walked back to the kitchen. 

Dean pushed his seat back and made his way to the back of the restaurant. He pushed the door open and saw Sam bent over the sink splashing water in his face. He stood and as he dried his face, caught Dean watching him in the mirror. Dean walked up behind his brother and wrapped his arms around him pressing himself against his back. He placed small kisses on Sam's neck and began to move his way up to the sensitive spot behind Sam's ear. He kept his eyes on Sam's in the mirror the entire time and when Sam's tongue snaked out to lick his own bottom lip, he spun Sam around and got a taste of that bottom lip too. He ground his hips against Sam's and Sam gripped his ass with both hands pressing them closer together. Their dicks rubbed against each other through layers of denim making them moan into each others mouths. Sam began to walk Dean backwards towards the stall and Dean let him for a moment before stopping him. 

"Hey Sammy as much as I'd like to take you in there and give you the best blowjob you've ever had, I'm fairly certain the managers here wouldn't be too happy about it. Plus we're kinda too big to get it on in a stall comfortably."

Sam laughed and had to agree. "You're probably right, I'm holding you to that blowjob though." He gave Dean a serious face that said he meant business.

"I expect you to!" Dean said with a smirk. He led Sam out to their table and was glad to find their dinner packed up and in bags. He looked around to find her and gave her a wave that she returned with a wink and a smile. 

"We're not having dinner?" Sam asked. 

"Yeah but we're having it somewhere a little more private. Hey go ahead to the truck", he handed Sam the keys, " I'm gonna run into the convenience store next door for some beer."

Sam took the keys and waited. He watched as Dean sauntered towards the truck. There really was no other way to describe the sure way Dean was walking towards him. Sam was elated to feel wanted and let in by Dean again. He knew that Dean loved him, but he also knew his brother was still having a hard time. To tell himself that things were fine now would be stupid. He just couldn't help but let his guard down. Dean always had that effect on him. 

As Dean drove, he kept one hand on Sam. First holding his hand then rubbing his thigh. When Sam moved his hand off he looked over with hurt on his face. "Both hands on the wheel." Now Dean was intrigued as Sam slid towards him on the seat.

He started by rubbing Deans neck and soothing the little cricks that had developed thanks to long hours working on Baby. Sam then began to run a hand through Deans hair musing up the carefully gelled locks but Dean didn't dare complain. He rubbed fingers over his ears then over Deans lips, slipping the tip of his thumb in slightly which Dean licked and sucked. By the time they arrived at a clearing surrounded by trees, Dean was so hard in his jeans that he couldn't get out of the truck without wincing with discomfort. He left the radio in the truck on the only station they could get clearly as far out as they were. Sam reached behind the bench seat and grabbed the thick blanket that Bobby always kept there for nights when he slept in the truck. He laid it out on the bed and climbed up kicking his shoes off. He looked at Dean expectantly and saw Dean shifting from one foot to another.

"I don't want our first date to be sex in the back of a truck. We should be in a bed."

Sam laughed at Deans earnestness. "We are in a bed. We grew up on four wheels, Dean. The sky has pretty much been the roof over our heads for as long as I can remember."Sam looked down at his hands "As long as you mean it, it doesn't matter where we are. Just really mean it."

Dean climbed up and held Sam's face between his hands. " I mean it baby boy. All of it. I'm sorry, I made you doubt it." He leaned forward and kissed Sam's lips lightly. Almost as if asking for permission. Sam answered by parting his lips and inviting Dean in. He slipped his hands under his older brothers shirt and and let them feel along his stomach and ribs. He let them wander around to his strong back and down past his belt. 

Dean pulled back and pulled his shirt off then helped Sam with his. He laid Sam back and then laid on him, feeling the goose bumps run along his torso thanks to the cool night air. 

"This okay?" Sam nodded then pulled Dean down into a kiss. The night was cool and the heat of Deans skin on Sam's made him moan. Dean kissed Sam slow because he knew that's what Sam liked best. He liked it when Sam had enough of the slow and sweet and began whimpering and biting. 

When Sam got to that point Dean started his trail down. Starting with Sam's neck, he licked his way down to Sam's nipples, circling his tongue around each one making Sam arch his back. He followed Sam's happy trail to where his jeans interrupted the path. He undid Sam's belt and button then slowly slid the zipper down. He pushed the fabric down to Sam's thighs releasing his hard cock. Dean kissed the tip then ran his tongue down the underside to Sam's balls. He pushed Sam's pants further down so he could kick them off then spread Sam's legs for better access. He licked and sucked at one ball then the other, licking up to the tip and swallowing Sam all the way down. Sam bucked his hips and Dean relaxed his throat to accommodate him. 

"Sorry!" Sam cried pulling Dean off of him. "C'mere" Sam pulled Dean towards him and kissed him. Dean let him have his way for a minute before he went back down to continue making Sam squirm and pant. He licked Sam's slit and scooped the drops of precome that had collected there with his tongue. He loved the taste of Sam. He loved the slightly salty natural taste of him. As Dean swallowed Sam down again he felt the soft hair touch his nose and he pushed down further, if he didn't know any better he'd swear Sam conditioned his pubic hair. Hell maybe he did but Dean liked it. He hollowed his cheeks as he pulled off with a pop. 

"Sammy, can you get me ready?" Sam nodded and before he could move Dean handed him the small packet of lube he bought with the beer then shucked his jeans and kneeled over Sam, facing away from him but giving him better access. "Just until I'm ready, then I wanna see your face." Sam made a strangled sound in his throat as Dean bent forward and began rubbing his cock against Sam's. 

The sensation of Dean sliding against him and the way Dean's core opened up to him when he leaned forward was sending Sam into overdrive. He made himself breath deep for control and tore open the packet slicking two fingers up. He rubbed them around his brothers furled entrance and watched him react. Sam drank in the way the tight muscles under Deans skin moved. He enjoyed watching Dean throw his head back when Sam slid the tip of his finger in and moved it in circles, loosening the tight ring that squeezed around it. He slid in a little further and felt Dean push back causing his finger to slide in up to the first knuckle. He pulled out and added a second finger, scissoring inside to make room for himself. By the time Sam added a third Dean was rocking himself back, helping Sam hit the spot that made him keen and moan. 

"Oh fuck ,Sam. I need you baby. Wanna come on your dick."

" Almost there, just want to take care of you." Sam slid his fingers in and out a few more times making sure Dean was slick and ready. He made Dean turn around and used the rest of the lube on his oversensitive cock. Dean positioned himself and looked into Sam's eyes as he sunk down, taking Sam all the way in. They both let a breath out that it seemed they'd been holding for weeks. Sam was propped on his elbows as Dean slowly began moving. 

Dean made the most broken sounds and Sam wanted to swallow them all. He wanted those noises to be his and his only. He watched as Dean picked up the pace and bit his bottom lip, his hands on either side of Sam's long torso.

Sam could feel Deans inner walls flexing around him. Each squeeze feeling like an orgasm in its own. As Deans rhythm started to become erratic Sam sat up and wrapped his arms around Dean, helping guide his motions and making Sam feel like they could not be any closer. Dean wrapped his fingers in Sam's hair and pulled him in for a kiss. Probing inside in time with the movement of his hips. They cried and whimpered into each others mouths, moaning each others names with only the trees as witness. 

Sam reached between them and palmed Deans hard on, keeping one arm around his waist, but Dean reached down and pulled it away. "Just on you inside me, baby." Sam obliged and gripped Deans hips, slamming into to him making Dean cry out. "Fuck, yes". He ground Dean against him until he could feel him shuddering with the force of his orgasm. Dean shot come all over his and Sam's stomach, making them slide against each other. Dean continued to buck against Sam riding out the electricity shooting through him and Sam came shortly after with a feral cry. 

"Ah, So good baby." Sam said with his face tucked into the crook of Deans neck. He fell back onto the now messed up blanket and took Dean with him. They caught their breath and didn't move until Sam was soft inside of Dean and the stickiness became uncomfortable. 

Sam helped clean Dean off with his undershirt then began wiping himself down quickly. "Man, I'm really hungry now!"

Dean laughed and gave Sam a kiss. "Made you work up an appetite, huh? Well we haven't had dinner yet. I'll grab it." When he went into the cab of the truck he turned the radio up before grabbing their food and two beers. 

Sam opened his container and began shoveling his food down. He was halfway done when he noticed Dean just sitting next to him on the tailgate drinking his beer and watching him eat. 

"Why aren't you eating?" He asked through a mouthful of vegetables.

"I like this song. It's us you know." Sam tilted his head and listened to the first few lines. 

"You like Sheryl Crow?" Sam asked with a disbelieving smirk on his face. 

"Yeah! She's kinda rock in a hippie kinda way. But listen. She knows he's the only one who heal her. She's saying that despite all the bullshit, despite the fact that it's not perfect, as long as he says 'their good', she'll believe it. That's us. I know I've been an asshole. Sammy, I can't promise you I never will be again but as long as you tell me you love me, and that we're ok, I'm gonna believe you." Dean put his beer down, stood and held his hand out for Sam.

"What?" Sam said placing his hand in Dean's.

"Put your food down." Dean watched as Sam looked at it longingly. "Dance with me." Dean pulled Sam up before he could answer. Wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him close, Dean began to sway to the music. Sam was tense at first but finally relaxed into Deans arms. "I love you Sammy."

"I love you too, Dean" he said thickly.

\-------------------------------------------

They crept up the stairs to the bedroom they shared trying not to wake Bobby.

"You boys have a good night?" He called out. 

"Yeah" they called out in unison. Bobby chuckled and called out his goodnight. 

"You can get first shower." Sam told Dean. 

"Awesome, I really need it." Dean gathered clothes and walked out while Sam laid in the bed closest to the window and read. 

When Dean returned he sent Sam to wash up with a swat on his butt. 

After Sam was done drying his hair he walked into the bedroom and stopped dead. 

Dean had moved the twin beds that they had been sleeping on for as long as they could remember next to each other in the center of the room. He had filled the dip between the mattresses with blankets making it more comfortable. 

Dean sat on the side closest to the door and watched Sam nervously. " I wanted to sleep next to you. But we can move it back if you want."

"No, I want to too." He shut the door behind him, walked over and laid on his back. Dean was still watching when Sam patted the spot next to him, "cmon lets get some sleep."

Dean spread out next to him and Sam got comfortable with his head on Deans chest. Dean tucked his nose in Sam's hair and inhaled. They were both asleep a short while later. Neither noticing the door clicking shut or the footsteps retreating down the hall.


End file.
